Clients I serve and don't serve

Most guys who book massages with me fall into one of these general categories:

Single gay men

Single bi men

Single questioning men

Committed gay men

Committed bi men

Committed questioning men

Married gay men

Married bi men

Married questioning men

First time with a man

College guys

Professionals of all ages

Corporate employees

Skilled tradespeople

Business owners

Business travelers

Retired gentlemen


Guys who might be self-conscious for one of the reasons below will be welcomed with the same kindness, respect, understanding, and temperance as everyone else:

Excessively beautiful

Moderately Overweight

Mild psoriasis

Mild complexion issues

Out of shape

Plain looking

Small dick

Gigantic dick



Very short or very tall.

Pituitary dwarf

Thinner than average


Colostomy bag dependent

Clients who may require special assistance and consideration will receive and extra level of tailored attention with me:

Men with mobility restrictions (up to a point)

Deaf guys

Blind guys

Guys with speech impediments or muteness

Client types who's disposition will require a more detailed discussion prior to booking:


Clients older than 80

People who require excessive security/discretion

Clients in an active accident recovery process

Clients with unusual handicaps

Conspicuous sufferers of cancer

Clients who wear unusual medical appliances

People who should avoid booking a session with me (subject to refusal of service or session termination)

Men with acute body odor/halitosis

Acutely unhygienic guys

Drug users


People who smell of weed smoke, tobacco smoke, or any type of smoke

Excessively Overweight Guys (massage table holds 300 lbs max)

Shady characters

Pushy and entitled guys

Sufferers of incontinence

Guys with acute eruptive or oozing skin conditions (not simple acne)

Anti-white racists (in fact, any racists)

Bad tempered persons

Men who raise their voice

Rude, snappy, bitchy, or superior attitude

Spoiled rich people

Anyone with an STD

Guys who are always unapologetically late for everything

Guys who have little or no regard for others' time

Guys who do not text or call if they will be more than 10 minutes late